Where am I right now? Well, I would have to say I am in a much better spot then I was a year ago (in terms of work satisfaction), so that’s always a good thing. I dreaded to no end coming into work early last year, almost to the point of tears some days. Now, although by no means am I 100% satisfied, I don't mind coming into the office and I can actually have a bit of fun and feel a sense of accomplishment. I still want a career instead of a job, but for the time being, I am going to soak in the comfort of it being much better than it was.
Why do I feel different? Well, I think it’s a number of factors, but I will focus on those changes that I myself have made. Making a conscious effort to try and step back when I get frustrated/angry/upset at work has help tremendously. I use to over analyze and tried to find some 'hidden or subliminal message' in a situation, which often didn’t exist anywhere besides my imagination. I am now allowing myself to be more aware of others (and NOT just the feeling/sensing/happy awareness that I am already really good at) and not get spun so tight when something is out of my control.
My leadership journey has lead me to a place to recognize my ignorant, assumption making behaviours. We all have them, but to be aware of them in the heat of the moment has been a huge realization for me. Now, does that mean I will never make assumptions or mistakes ever again? Of course not - but it does feel good to be cognisant of some of my short comings and work on things that I myself can change instead of placing the blame on everyone else.
Personally, I have been on a bit of a roller coaster ride these last few months. Shortly before Christmas my husband and I found out we were expecting baby # 2 and we were over the moon. It was the best Christmas present EVER, because we had been trying for awhile and couldn't wait to give our son a brother or sister. But at 9 weeks at an early dating ultrasound on the coldest January morning I found out we had lost the baby. It was unexpected, probably because my first pregnancy was so 'easy' and I just couldn’t imagine for something like this to happen. Little did I know that miscarriage is a very common event and everyone seems to have a story to tell about it. Believe me, I cried; I felt loss and pain and hurt, but for some reason I wasn’t angry and was able to find a wonderful sense of peace about the entire situation. Did my leadership journey play a role in this? Of course it did. Leadership is not just about work and how to excel in your field. Its about building character and how you handle life situations. You always have decisions to make about how you are going to react to what is thrown your way, whether its good or bad, happy or sad.
LOVE this - it is so true! I am a strong person and have strength in not so fun situations.
I have to make up for a bunch of missed blog posts from late 2011, so stay tuned! My brain is tumbling with great ideas to share, just gotta get them written :)
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